Old names return for round two.
The Story So Far:
NES:
SNES:
Hello and welcome to another session of me bashing old things for being old reviewing NES games. Can you believe it’s been about eight months since I last looked at the Switch’s NES library? There are a few reasons for that. One, I’m a busy man. Two, Nintendo gave us Super Nintendo games at some point and I’m now having to split my attention between the NES and SNES libraries. Three, there’s no more regular updates to this library and thus not as much incentive to “keep up.” If Nintendo is only gonna update this library every, like, half year or whatever than I think I can put these out at a similar pace.
Regarding that last point, this means we’re going to be taking a look at far fewer games in the NES library than we did before. Nine games in fact. And almost half of them, I’m noticing, are sequels or otherwise souped up versions of games we’ve looked at before. So should I really bother with them? … … … … sure, why not? But anyway, beyond those things, the usual rules apply – these will be short, mostly first impressions style reviews of the NES games on offer. Ultimately, the goal is to figure out if there’s anything I’d consider worth playing through to the end. At the end of this blog I’ll give an overall rating for this batch of games as well a rating for the library as a whole up to what I’ve played. With that, let’s start with…
SUPER MARIO BROS.: THE LOST LEVELS
Did you wish the original Super Mario game was harder, sometimes unfairly? Lost Levels is for you then! This game, the real Super Mario Bros. 2, didn’t actually make its way to the west until Super Mario All-Stars released on the Super Nintendo. Far as I’m aware, this is the first time the original NES game is officially playable, so that’s pretty neat. Obviously, if you like Super Mario you’ll probably like this. But I am serious about the difficulty being unfair at points. Sometimes you jump not really knowing if the jump you just attempted was possible. But on the whole, it’s fun. It’s Mario, so of course it would be.
Thumbs Up
STAR SOLDIER
The thing about games like Star Soldier is that there are thousands of games like it. In this very library you have Twinbee and Gradius. They all have their unique twists, sure, but the core idea is always the same. And if you’ve got a favorite top down scrolling shooter already (Galaga, in my case…I know, very original answer), I doubt any of these will change your mind. To talk about this game’s unique points though, I have two gripes. One, if you’re under an object than you can’t fire which is a bit of a problem when you’ve got enemies filling the screen. By the way, you can never tell if you’re about to fly over the scenery or under it. Two, the Star Brain boss has an incredibly strict time limit. If you don’t defeat him in enough time, you do the whole stage over again. And that’s just annoying. Fortunately, much of the game is reasonably fun. I just can’t find it in me to play this for very long though. Not bad, but not amazing.
Neutral
PUNCH-OUT!!
Another well known classic of the NES era, Punch-Out puts you in the shoes of Little Mac as he sets out to become a boxing champion. To win in Punch-Out requires you to pay attention to the opponent and watch for any signs of an impending attack, then counter attack. If you’re real good then you can lay on heavy damage and gain stars which can be used for more powerful attacks. I like Punch-Out because it’s more about learning your enemy than it is yourself. In many ways it’s like playing a fighting game with someone, where the victor is often the one paying the most attention to their opponent’s habits. Learning the enemy pattern and exploiting every possible weakness is consistently satisfying in this game. Glad to have Punch-Out finally be in this library.
Thumbs Up
CLU CLU LAND
And it starts…
You ever play a game and think the developers have never played a game before? That’s the sense I get with Clu Clu Land. And yes, I know that’s a little unfair towards the NES developers, but I mean…yeesh, this game is rough. Super awkward control scheme and an obscure goal is a recipe for disaster. I made it past one level and my reward was going faster, which is not something you want in a game with as bad of controls as this. You don’t just move up, down, left, or right. No, you extend your arm out, grab onto a circle, and swing around it till you let go. That’s how you get from one point to the next. There’s no slowing yourself down to make the turns easier to do. Talk about awkward feeling.
Thumbs Down
DONKEY KONG JR.
There’s not a whole lot to this title. You only have four levels that repeat on loop until you get a game over. The controls took a little getting used to but once you get a feel for the game’s physics victory is certainly possible. There’s a decent amount of randomness to game which, at best, slows you down. At worst, it kills you. But, it’s an arcade game just brought over to the NES, so what were we expecting? It’s an alright game overall. You’ll see all there is to see in a very short amount of time, but it’s not a bad time by any stretch.
Thumbs Up
VS. EXCITEBIKE
So as far as I can tell, this is just regular Excitebike with a multiplayer mode as well as racing with CPU characters being a main part of the game as opposed to either just racing by yourself or with the CPU. There’s some new tracks, as well as some returning old ones I think. I guess if I’m going to give Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels a thumbs up for just being more of a good game, then it’s only fair that VS. Excitebike gets the same treatment. But I will say, where The Lost Levels feels like a pretty distinct package on its own, VS here doesn’t have as much of a unique identity. It’s plenty of fun, but there isn’t much here that you won’t find in the original Excitebike. But on the other hand, if you love the original Excitebike and want more of it, then this does exactly that.
Thumbs Up
VOLLEYBALL
Uuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh…
Freaking hate sports games man like why do they keep putting these in here, cause I’m pretty sure nobody likes them.
Okay, credit where credit is due, Volleyball is a decently well put together game. I can clearly tell which players I’m controlling, and once I got used to controls and movement I was able to keep some strings going. Mind you, I think I only ever scored two points, but I could at least play the game. Still, I have no desire to come back to this and I would tell you to not waste your time with this game. The B button maneuver just makes you lose a point if we’re being honest, the music is super repetitive, and for some reason you have to score twice in a row before you actually score. Also, the characters wiggle their butts at an uncomfortable frequency.
Thumbs Down
DOUBLE DRAGON II: THE REVENGE
I’d like to give this game a thumbs up like its predecessor, but there’s one major problem. For some reason, the kick and punch buttons are flipped depending on the direction you’re facing. Why? I don’t know, go ask your mother. This is especially frustrating when in the first game, this wasn’t an issue. “A” was punch, “B” was kick, end of story.
What I’m saying is…*deep breath*
THEY HAD IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!!!!
SO.
WHAT.
HAPPENED!?!?!?
And even if you ignore the first Double Dragon, I can’t comprehend how anyone making this game thought the flip-flopping control scheme was a good idea. I know there was a lot of learning going on at this time, but this should’ve been obvious. It makes an otherwise fun game really annoying to play! I was going to give this a neutral rating, but seeing how messed up the controls are when the first game got it more or less perfect is really, really frustrating.
Thumbs Down
CITY CONNECTION
I think the point is to drive over every possible block in the level to progress. I think there’s levels anyway. Couldn’t really say because trying to cover every single square is impossible. There are four levels of street to fill, and if you fall then you can’t get back up.
(Writer’s Note: Apparently there actually is a way to get back up, but I couldn’t figure that out in my time playing the game. So…yeah.)
Getting the end block filled on a street is super difficult because the timing for jumps is pretty strict, and trying to fill the last block will probably just land you into the next street level and therefore unable to clear the level. On top of that there’s tons of obstacles to watch out for. You can take care of police cars by throwing cans at them, because the police can’t possibly contend with those darn cans. But even that game mechanic isn’t made too obvious. I only made the connection (heh) because the game’s details in the library screen mentioned throwing them. In the end, I wound up playing this for ten minutes (felt like much longer) and had enough. For what it’s worth, I like the idea of the game, but I don’t think it was properly executed.
Thumbs Down
And that’s a wrap. I think once nice thing to come from playing fewer games at once for these blogs is that I can go into a bit more detail over why I like or dislike a game. This batch has about the same like to dislike ratio as batch one. Of course, that was twenty games as opposed to nine, so there’s that to keep in mind. But perhaps when I come back to this creaky old library in eight month’s time the next several games will all be pretty good. Then again, I keep saying that and it never quite happens that way. Oh well.
Batch #3 Rating: C
Recommended – 4
Not Recommended – 4
Neutral – 1
Overall Library Rating: C-
Recommended – 18
Not Recommended – 20
Neutral – 6
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